Vincent and the couch
by MistressLilium
Summary: This is when Vincent starts a relationship with a ghetto couch, but what happens when...his wife appears?


Hello my lovely readers. Now i'm going to warn you, I wrote this story at four in the morning with no sleep for two days so it may seem a bit random. It's going to be the second story but the first part to my Vincent series. It's funny and intertaining, but it's not my best work. I promise you I'll make better ones as it goes, but this was written when I was partley dead. If you have any ideas of stories you would like to read, tell me and I'll write them up for you. Thank you so much. R&R

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Vincent smooth his hands over hair hair as he paced around the empty house. aoihgoeugt had taken his brother and aingoegeg out to get some ice cream, while Guilt-na had been sleeping upstairs. Since the fiasco a couple weeks ago, he wasn't allowed to sleep on his pole anymore. She had moved out to live with some cousins in poloc vill. Now he was left alone to wander around a house with nothing to do.

"Why is a bats life so hard and lonely?", he asked himself before slumping down into the new couch that ogaiherogw had bought. Instantly his rear end seemed to sink deep into the lush cushion of cotton. "Oh, my..it's so soft", he said to himself while leaning over to smell the fresh scent of polyester and man sweat of the labor put into it.

Once again that overpowering feeling to make love to the inanimate objects took hold of the young bats body as he cupped the couches back in his hands.

"Oh sweet couch, you shall provide comfort for all of us who sit on you, and occasionally pass gas on you, but you take no comfort back. Let me unleash your wildest fantasy's and make your dreams come true!", he yelled as he ripped the clothes from his body and took a super hero stance.

"Boy put those small cookies away. You couldn't satisfy a mouse with what you got in yo trunk hunny. Sorry uh uh", came the reply of the couch as she snapped her cushion like fingers in a Z.

"Dear loved couch, I don't know what you just said darling but....I love you", he yelled as sweet warm passion filled his eyes and leapt forward to embrase his lovely couch. But before his arms could wrap around the couch he was stopped by being plowed in the face by a cushion.

"Do you have a job?" the couch asked in a sassy tone.

"No darling, but I can...", he tried to reply.

"I asked if you had a job, you say no. Is this yo house?", she asked again.

"No, but I am sure..."

"Then boi I dont want anything to do with yo loopy ass. You can't even support yo own self without fallin in love with a pole. Did you know she had men slidin up and down her every Sunday?", the couch asked before making a very inappropriate noise with her nose.

"Please my darling couch, let me fill your...", He was once again cut off as another cushion came plowing into his face. By this time he had feathers sticking out of his bottom lip.

"Go get me some freetos", the couch ordered.

Bowing his head in sadness Vincent walked to the kitchen and got a bag of Freetos from the cuboard, then brought them back to the couh. Once he arrived in the living room, he noticed that the couch was missing.

"WHAT THE HELL!?", he screamed loudly while looking all around the room. First he check behind the curtains, then in the closet, he even went so far as to check the bathroom with his eyes covered.

With no sign of his beloved couch Vincent crawled up the stairs with thick tears in his eyes. There was no one in this house who would give him love, even the pole had been cheating on him every Sunday! There was nothing that could get worse then it had been.

Walking towards Guilt-na's room, Vincent couldn't help but wonder if Guilt would be a sparing person and save him from his lonleyness. Stepping quietly, Vincent grabbed the brass handle to his master's room and opened the door slowly hoping that the male/female wasn't sleeping. When his eyes layed on the scene in front of him he couldn't help but want to barf. There sat his master with his knees drawn to his chest and his hands between his legs doing something horrible!

"Master how could you!?", Vincent yelled horrified.

A very annoyed Guilt glanced up to see the disturbance and saw Vincent stuck to the wall as if he had been plastered there.

"I'm clipping my toe-nails...what's so bad about that?", he asked with a "Get the fuck out", type look on his face. Vincent rushed out of the room in tears for he thought toe-nails were very precious with their fungesness, which tasted quite good on toast and in cereal (too him).

As he walked down the hallway on his search for his missing love couch, he couldn't get the feeling that he was being watched some how. Spinning around to glance around, he saw nothing but heard the most horrible sound. It sounded as if bones were cracking while on the move.

"C, couch? Is that you baby?", he called out but got no answer in return. Swallowing a big lump in his throat he continued on his search for his missing lover. That was until the lights were cut and the hallway was draped in darkness. Due to his bat like sences he didn't need his eyes; but oh did he wish he couldn't hear also.

The same bone cracking sound came from behind him, but this time it seemed that it was moving closer to him; as if it was set on coming at him from behind. Turning around he tried to ketch a glimps of what was behind him, but there was nothing but the ill lit hallway.

"Couch, please if that's you...come out of hiding", he called in a cracky voice. Still the only answer he recieved was the answering silence. By this time he couldn't help himself but to take off running down the hallway. The bone cracking sound sped up along with him, but it shifted to where it now sounded like it was on the ceiling. Vincent squealed loudly while tears dripped down his face.

"COUCH! SAVE ME!", he screamed with his eyes closed and his arms flailing behind him. That was when his face, for the third hundredth time, met the clean side of a wall. Sliding down to the floor in agony Vincent rubbed his nose and tilted his head up to stop the bleeding, but when he looked up he couldn't help but scream at the site. There on the wall, hanging above him was the one thing he never wanted to see in his life. A female stood with her arms crossed over her chest. A mole poking out of her chin with a una-brow, yellow jagged teeth grinned down at him as she missed patches of her hair.

"There you are hunny bunny! I've been searching everywhere for you", screamed the woman.

TO BE CONTINUED...


End file.
